The statistics are extremely troubling, and here are only a few. Nationally, every 9 seconds a woman in the United States is beaten, and it is estimated that 1 in every 4 women will experience domestic violence in her lifetime. On average, more than three women and one man are murdered by their intimate partners every day in the United States, and one in five teens in a serious relationship reports having been hit, pushed or slapped by a partner.
Locally, the Chicago Police Department annually responds to more than 200,000 domestic-related calls, which averages to more than 500 calls each day. On any given day, in excess of 12,000 active orders of protection exist in Cook County.
October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month, which provides an opportunity for our community to address this serious issue and work on ways to put an end to this scourge. The problem of domestic violence has taken on heightened visibility this year due to the spotlighting of recent incidents involving NFL players such as Ray Rice, who was caught on video abusing his now-wife.
Before you choose the proper lawyer for yourself, you need to look at how one defines a successful divorce. Many people think success is limited to the bottom line outcome. Sadly, however, those people often fail to understand that the “costs” of divorce do not necessarily end when the court enters the final divorce judgment.
Nearly every divorce involves a “transactional divorce” and an “emotional divorce”. In choosing a lawyer, both aspects of divorce should be addressed, preferably at the same time. Otherwise, the expense of your divorce may last far beyond the split, especially when children are involved.
Going through a divorce is difficult anytime, but especially when there are contested custody and parenting time issues. In an ideal world, most parents want their children to go through the divorce process with as little disruption to their lives as possible under the circumstances. As you navigate through the divorce process, one way to help provide your children with stability is to plan ahead.
As September comes to an end we are reminded that the upcoming holiday season (including breaks from school) is upon us. Have you and your spouse worked out how to share holiday and school break parenting time for your children? If not, now is the time to both start thinking and acting on it to allow sufficient time to resolve any disputes prior to the start of the holidays and school breaks.
Effective, amicable communication with your ex-spouse about your children’s needs is always the goal, but achieving it can be a tall order in times of stress—and the beginning of the school year can be one of the most stressful. Follow these tips to reduce conflict with your ex and ease your children’s transition back-to-school:
- Meet before the school year starts. A neutral setting is best. The agenda might include bus schedules, extra-curricular activities that may affect pick-up times, late start days, and who is responsible for school supplies. This meeting can diminish confusion at the start of the school year and foster a spirit of cooperation. A shared online calendar can help you both stay on top of the schedule throughout the year.
- Make sure both parents are listed as emergency contacts and that both are on the school’s distribution lists for notifications and report cards. Never use children as go-betweens to convey important information to the other parent; contact each other directly.
- Confirm children have everything they need to complete their homework when they are going to their other parent’s house for the evening or weekend.
- Inform your child’s school and teachers that you are divorced so they will be sensitive to, and can alert you to, any emotional struggles your child may be experiencing.
- Share any concerns you may have about a child’s development with your co-parent. Both parents have a right to know about any difficulties a child is experiencing. If conflict arises, seek out a counselor or mediator for these important discussions.
- Don’t allow back-to-school to become a battlefield or occasion to prove that you are the better parent. Keep your focus on your child’s school experience and development. All children need and want the love and involvement of both parents.
This article originally appeared in West Suburban Living Magazine.
Most people would like to believe that custody laws in Illinois are gender neutral. While earlier case law favored mothers of young children under “the tender years doctrine”, in an effort to be more gender neutral, the custody laws were rewritten in the 1970’s and 1980’s so that they now clearly indicate that it is the children’s “best interest” that is the overriding consideration for custody awards, without regard to gender. In reality, however, it seems that most judges still award primary residential custody to the spouse who is or was in the recent past the primary caregiver, i.e. the-stay-at-home-parent and, despite many more working mothers now, this more often is the mom than the dad. Much of this thinking appears to be based on the idea that if it is not broken, why fix it?
What about situations when a dad truly does or has stayed at home with the children? When a dad has been present, available and a competent parent. “All things being equal”, Dad should be awarded primary residential custody. Is there still a lingering bias that the mother would do a better job parenting? While the answer may still be yes, that is much less so now than it was 20 or 30 years ago.
In an odd twist, just hours apart, two Federal Appellate Courts came out with different answers to the same questions, regarding a provision of the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act, (also known as the “ACA” or “Obamacare”).
The two Courts addressed the issue of whether or not the IRS could offer tax credits to individuals who purchased health insurance on federally facilitated exchanges, or whether those credits were limited to those exchanges that were facilitated by the states. The issue has to deal with Section 36B of the Internal Revenue Code, which was enacted as part of the ACA, which allowed for tax credits to be issued to those who purchased health insurance (and otherwise qualified for the tax credit) through a health care exchange. The key language in 36B provides for the subsidy for those exchanges “established by the State under section 1311”.
Family law attorneys help people with their divorces and also with issues that arise after a divorce. Resolution of post-divorce issues is governed by the Marital Settlement Agreement (divorce agreement), which contains both parties’ rights and responsibilities regarding financial and child-related issues.
Sometimes post-divorce issues are unavoidable. For example, changing economic circumstances require a new support order, or parties disagree about visitation issues or child- related decisions.
Other times, easily preventable problems arise because parties enter into a marital settlement agreement and obtain a divorce without attorneys. Parties to do-it-yourself (DIY) divorce agreements are often divorcing on good terms and have uncomplicated finances. These factors do not insulate parties from problems, however. The problems that arise with DIY divorce agreements are many and happen even in simple agreements. Certain issues can be a basis for a court to vacate all or part of an agreement; several of these are:
Perhaps the most traumatic repercussion of a divorce is the inability to see one’s children every day. I have met many a client who has refused to pursue a divorce merely because he could not contemplate separation from his children. Even (and perhaps especially) in a failing marriage, parents are comforted by routines that involve our little ones in so many aspects of daily life. Waking up, eating breakfast, coming home at the end of the day, dinnertime, evening entertainment, bath time, bed time. Whether we participate in every activity or not, we are simply happy that they are occurring. We take for granted the fact that the kids are sitting at the breakfast table as we make our coffee and sleeping upstairs as we watch Game of Thrones. Even when we are not directly interacting with them, there is comfort in proximity.
That is what makes divorce so traumatic on the father/child relationship – the loss of that regular proximity and contact. So on this Father’s Day, here are some suggestions for all the divorced dads out there to help maintain that contact, and with it the strong bond that every father and child want and need.
The Illinois Supreme Court proclaimed that family courts are not bound by the Internal Revenue Service definition of income in establishing or setting a child support order. In 2004, in the case of In Re Marriage of Rogers, the Supreme Court reversed two Appellate Court decisions that had previously ruled that the Internal Revenue Service Code, and the definitions therein, control or have a significant bearing on the definition of the word “income” as would be used in child support statutes relating to the setting of child support.
In Rogers, the father was receiving regular monthly gifts from his mother and the question was whether or not those gifts should be considered by the Trial Court in establishing the father’s net income for the purpose of setting child support. The Supreme Court held that it should, and, in doing so, stated that when a child support obligor receives funds that represent a benefit which enhanced the obligor’s wealth, it should be considered income for the purposes of establishing child support. The Court went on to say that the lack of a guarantee of recurrence of such funds is not controlling in setting the child support pursuant to the statutory guidelines.
Each year, approximately 6,000 children born in the U.S. have Down Syndrome, as many as 5 out of every 100 children in school may have Attention-Deficit / Hyperactivity Disorder (AD/HD)  and autism now affects 1 in 68 children. The emotional and financial toll of caring for a disabled child can be overwhelming, even for the strongest of families. As such, the added stress of a divorce can leave parents unwilling or unable to focus on the child’s unique circumstances in order to ensure the uninterrupted continuation of care, emotional and financial, for a disabled child.
Outside of typical child support for the payment of food, clothing, entertainment and other living expenses, divorcing parents of disabled children should consider additional financial support and arrangements for the child: