Holidays and Divorce – Tips for Enjoying the True Spirit of the Holidays

The holidays evoke universal feelings of peace, joy and hope.  Yet, for some individuals going through the difficult process of a divorce, the mere mention of the holiday season causes anxiety.   While it may seem impossible to enjoy yourself in light of your situation, rest assured it is not.  Following just a few tips during the upcoming months may be all you need to enjoy the true spirit of the holidays.

Own your Feelings

Do not let the  divorce process take control of your emotional life.  Acting out of anger clouds judgment and takes time away from resolving the issue at hand. You may feel like your spouse is  trying to interrupt your holiday plans  or place financial constraints on your budget, but do not react with retaliation. Instead gather all the facts and work on a plan with your attorney.  Taking emotions out of the situation will allow you to return your attention to the holiday season.

Focus on your Family

Remember that family encompasses children, relatives and your extended family.  If your kids are with your spouse or ex-spouse, use that time to join the festivities and traditions of your extended family.  Reach out to friends, both old and new, to help you summon the joy of the season and never forget that laughter is the best medicine.

Embrace Change

There is no denying that change is difficult, but rising to the occasion will ease the journey.  Once you understand that you cannot stop change, you will be able to cope with the differences in a healthy way.  Remember that your children’s lives are changing too.  The better you handle yourself, the easier it is on your children to manage the stress of the holidays for themselves.

Ask for Help

All of us need a comforting hand once in a while.  If you find the time of the year coupled with the pressure of a divorce too hard to handle, ask for assistance.  Friends that have gone through or are in the process of a divorce themselves are usually willing to lend an ear.  If you feel uncomfortable sharing with people you know, your attorney will be able to recommend a professional for you.

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